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Iron Maiden - Hallam FM Arena Sheffield 18th December 2006

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Setlist: Different World / These Colours Don't Run / Brighter Than a Thousand Suns / The Pilgrim / The Longest Day / Out Of The Shadows / The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg / For The Greater Good of God / Lord of Light / The Legacy / Fear of the Dark / Iron Maiden // 2 Minutes To Midnight / The Evil That Men Do / Hallowed Be Thy Name
 

It is, rather surprisingly, three years since the Dance of Ducks tour hit the UK. As we approach another Winter-Season-Festivities holiday, the Maiden machine rolls into arenas for a bunch more sold-out shows.

 

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My feelings about arena gigs are no secret. Sheffield is now the only such venue in the UK that I will patronise. A nice enough venue, great, friendly, helpful staff, and they don’t try to shove a rubber-gloved hand up your arse at every opportunity. I point-blank refuse to go to that most hateful of buildings, Manchester’s Evening Nazi Arena, where the staff are as ugly and useless as the structure itself. I also hate Birmingham’s NEC. It is old and, in December, it’s colder than a penguin’s toes in there. That, and the fascist-bastard staff who, by now, are probably strip- and body-cavity searching everyone with a ticket… Please don’t even get me started on the Empire Pool… … or that most evil one of them all, Earl’s Court.
 
So, Sheffield Hallam it is, although, the road signage in Sheffield is appalling and finding the bloody place is left in the lap of the Gods! Whoever, decided on the road signs in Sheffield must have been: 
  • a) A goldfish
  • b) Narcoleptic
  • c) Aleister Crowley’s bastard offspring
  • d) Having a laugh.

 

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From Park Square, the hub at the centre of Sheffield’s inner city transportation wheel, there is no road sign at all to indicate which road leads to the Hallam FM Arena. Why? I would have thought it was exactly the sort of place that would warrant a sign.
 
When you have found the right road (after trying the seven other options first… it’s always the last one you try, isn’t it?) you actually miss the turn off because the one sign that is stuck on a post, is so small you can’t see it from the lane you’re in, until you realise that you can’t make it across three lanes of traffic in time to make the junction. Of course, it’s an urban clearway for the next 3 miles and there are no other turnings-off. But, of course. 
You eventually take the next left turn, which leads you through an industrial estate. Naturally.
 
Once you do finally reach Park Square again, it’s late. You know which road to take, and where to turn off. But, you get to the next junction and there’s no sign; it’s like Milton Keynes on bad acid. South Yorkshire is obviously plagued with gangs of youths whose whole raison d’être is to steal the Hallam FM Arena direction signs from every otherjunction. I swear, they are there one minute, gone the next. After a few more dead ends, company car parks, and fast food drive-thru lanes, you actually arrive at the arena, only to find that the car park is ‘FULL’. How can that be? Which dick didn’t build a big enough car park? Let me speak to the gentleman for ten minutes…


 

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Risking fines, clamps and being towed-away, I stick the car in the Centertainment overflow, where it specifically states that it [the car park]:
  • should not be used for Arena parking
  • cctv is in operation
  • clamping blah blah
  • fines blah
  • blah blah blah
 
Yeah, whatever… FROAD!
 
I’d already broken several Road Traffic laws getting to the gosh-darned place, I figured that ignoring a couple of local authority directives, flouting one or two EU rules, and infringing a handful of private property trespassing regulations was just the cherry on the top. I whacked the car in the first available space and wondered if I’d come back to a car, and if it hadn’t been towed, would I have to get the tools out of the boot to remove the old Denver Boot? Ah, I’d worry about that shit later.


 

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As bizarre as it may sound, it did occur to me that maybe we should at least look as though we were going to the cinema and not the arena across the road, just in case Big Brother was watching. Then I thought: ‘Nah, fuck it!’ I’d parked illegally and now, with my camera under my shirt as per usual, I was intending to take photos inside the building. Oooh! My rebelliousness was at a fever pitch now and, when a young lady suggested we enter through the green doors, when our tickets specifically said entry through the blue doors, I was really on the verge of going all Wild One on this place’s ass. Once in the Front Standing section, I took off my shirt and flaunted the Fuji S7000, wantonly. Oh yeah, I’m bad!
 
Fortunately, we had timed our arrival to coincide with the departure from the stage of the dreadful Trivium. I don’t know what it is with Iron Maiden; they always choose the crappest opening act of the moment. In fact, our timing was so splendid that we found our spot just as the lights dimmed and Doctor, Doctor burst from the PA. A young lad standing next to me, upon espying my intimate knowledge of words, other than the title, of this fine standard, asked me if the song was by UFO. I smacked him in the mouth for having the nerve to even address me, then I smacked him again for asking a stupid question, then once more for being ugly. ‘Yes,’ I replied. I smacked him a fourth, and final time, just in case he had any ffrench blood in his ancestry.


 

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Now then, Maiden. 
 
The first hour of the show is a performance of the new CD, start to finish. The last time I saw a band do this was Marillion on the Marbles tour. I don’t know if it’s brave, or pretentious. I do know that A Matter of Life and Death is a good recording, albeit, for me, it was a grower and only came into its own after a week on continuous playback in the car. Nevertheless, there are some good tunes here and, although some of it does appear to pay homage to previously recorded songs from the back catalogue, there is much to recommend it.
 
After AMOLAD was completed, two oldies, in the form of Fear of the Dark and Iron Maiden, completed the set. FotD is not one of my favourites and fails to engage me in anything other than a bit of a foot tap and a head nod, but I do accept that it is one enjoyed by many. Iron Maiden, of course, is the one where we find out Eddie’s latest incarnation. For this tour, no expense has been spared as a tank rises from the back of the stage. Yes, that’s right, a tank. I’m not fully conversant with the actual dimensions of a real tank, but this one looks a pretty good size to me. Anyhoo, it swings out over the drum kit and Eddie rises up out of the turret and scans the audience through binoculars. Damn impressive! Totally over the top and obscene, but what ya gonna do?


 

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Encores of 2 Minutes To Midnight, The Evil That Men Do, and Hallowed Be Thy Name bring the evening’s entertainment to a close and, as you would expect from Maiden, they are faultless. It goes without saying that the backdrops, light show and sound are all top flight and beyond criticism. All in all, a most enjoyable night. Like the song says, Nobody Does It Better. (No, it isn’t an Iron Maiden song… Jeez!)
 
I had proffered the idea, after the last couple of occasions that I had seen Maiden, that maybe the show is a little too rehearsed and a tad more spontaneity may not be such a bad thing. Truthfully, I can’t completely wipe that thought from my mind, but it’s like I whine about my car being a little to comfortable and I wish the ride was a little firmer. It’s a symptom of looking for something to complain about. It’s fine as it is.
 
I whinge, therefore, I am. 


 

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Bruce dropped some very unsubtle hints that they will be headlining at Download next summer. I didn’t go this year because there really wasn’t an act strong enough to make me suffer a week of camping and all that that entails. Having seen Maiden this week, would their presence be sufficient incentive to get me to Donington in 2007?
 
You betcha sweet bippy, it would.
 
Although, maybe not right at the front… I still remember my Near Donington Experience.


Chocks away, Ginger!
  
Mark L. Potts 
The God of Thunder

22nd December 2006

Oh, and no the car was perfectly unmolested. I even saved on the £5 or so they charge at the venue. Result!

About the photos...

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I don't know what it was, but I just wasn't on form for this show. Couldn't have taken an awesome pic if my life depended on it. One or two are OK at best.


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