Monsters of Rock: Manchester Evening News Arena 20th November 2002
Let's get the gripes out of the way first, then we can concentrate on the music.
Firstly, if you have a choice between the Manchester Evening News Arena and somewhere else, go to the somewhere else. Of the modern arenas in the UK, the MEN is one of the newest and most modern, but it is also one of the worst, for so many reasons.
Unless you are on the floor, either standing or seated in the first blocks in front of the stage, your view is poor, even if you have perfect eyesight. Furthermore, on the tiered seating, the slope is so steep you really need to pack ropes, crampons and take along a Sherpa to aid you in the ascent and descent. If that were not enough, you have a choice between being close enough to see the stage (one side of the stage or the other to be precise) or being able to see the whole of the stage, but being so far away that you really need a personal, portable Hubble telescope to make out what's going on.
And that is only the first stage of the tiers. I wouldn't even entertain a seat in the second stage. I have stood atop the Empire State Building with no problems at all, but the second tier of the seating at the MEN really makes me feel quite queasy. It is not only high up, but the angle is just unpleasantly acute. As for being able to see anything on the stage, forget it.
Sound? What sound? Imagine standing on the Larsen Ice Shelf. Hurricane force winds howl around the hood of your snorkel jacket, ice-rain pounds your body until you're numb and you fancy you can hear a million penguins giving birth beneath the ice, that is about the quality of the sound at the MEN Arena.
Actually, it was about the same temperature too. I like the AC on Nuclear Winter setting myself, but even I was cold. Polar Bears were walking the aisles complaining of the wind chill factor. I joke not. Any welders hanging around the building would have made a fortune.
The height and the angle of the tiers not only affects what you see, it causes pain in both the knees and back. Walking up and down these steep inclines is really an effort. Yes, I am the wrong side of thirty-five and not quite the figure of a racing snake that I once was but, even my super-fit, kickboxing, teenage daughter likened it to a good workout.
But that's not all. I don't have especially long legs, so it is surprising that, considering the steeply raked tiers, the distance between the actual seat and the concrete is far too little for comfortable seating. You find that your knees are pushed up, which wrecks your knees, strains your calf and thigh muscles and gives you back ache because you cannot comfortably sit up straight. Stick with me, I haven't finished bitching and moaning yet.
Why do people spend around £30 on a ticket to go to a concert in these places only to spend the entire evening making you stand up on your crippled knees every few minutes because they want to go to the bar, the toilet, the bar again, the toilet again, the bar again, the toilet again. And what's more, they travel in pairs or trios, so one goes and comes back, then the other one goes and so on. This is repeated all night. They miss half the evening's proceedings because they're buying the over-priced refreshments or evacuating their bladders, because they've been buying the over-priced refreshments. They could save themselves a lot of effort by putting a £50 under toilet mints.
Firstly, if you have a choice between the Manchester Evening News Arena and somewhere else, go to the somewhere else. Of the modern arenas in the UK, the MEN is one of the newest and most modern, but it is also one of the worst, for so many reasons.
Unless you are on the floor, either standing or seated in the first blocks in front of the stage, your view is poor, even if you have perfect eyesight. Furthermore, on the tiered seating, the slope is so steep you really need to pack ropes, crampons and take along a Sherpa to aid you in the ascent and descent. If that were not enough, you have a choice between being close enough to see the stage (one side of the stage or the other to be precise) or being able to see the whole of the stage, but being so far away that you really need a personal, portable Hubble telescope to make out what's going on.
And that is only the first stage of the tiers. I wouldn't even entertain a seat in the second stage. I have stood atop the Empire State Building with no problems at all, but the second tier of the seating at the MEN really makes me feel quite queasy. It is not only high up, but the angle is just unpleasantly acute. As for being able to see anything on the stage, forget it.
Sound? What sound? Imagine standing on the Larsen Ice Shelf. Hurricane force winds howl around the hood of your snorkel jacket, ice-rain pounds your body until you're numb and you fancy you can hear a million penguins giving birth beneath the ice, that is about the quality of the sound at the MEN Arena.
Actually, it was about the same temperature too. I like the AC on Nuclear Winter setting myself, but even I was cold. Polar Bears were walking the aisles complaining of the wind chill factor. I joke not. Any welders hanging around the building would have made a fortune.
The height and the angle of the tiers not only affects what you see, it causes pain in both the knees and back. Walking up and down these steep inclines is really an effort. Yes, I am the wrong side of thirty-five and not quite the figure of a racing snake that I once was but, even my super-fit, kickboxing, teenage daughter likened it to a good workout.
But that's not all. I don't have especially long legs, so it is surprising that, considering the steeply raked tiers, the distance between the actual seat and the concrete is far too little for comfortable seating. You find that your knees are pushed up, which wrecks your knees, strains your calf and thigh muscles and gives you back ache because you cannot comfortably sit up straight. Stick with me, I haven't finished bitching and moaning yet.
Why do people spend around £30 on a ticket to go to a concert in these places only to spend the entire evening making you stand up on your crippled knees every few minutes because they want to go to the bar, the toilet, the bar again, the toilet again, the bar again, the toilet again. And what's more, they travel in pairs or trios, so one goes and comes back, then the other one goes and so on. This is repeated all night. They miss half the evening's proceedings because they're buying the over-priced refreshments or evacuating their bladders, because they've been buying the over-priced refreshments. They could save themselves a lot of effort by putting a £50 under toilet mints.
And what is it with the pricing of the refreshments in these places? £1.60 for a 30p bottle of water. £2.40 for 20p's worth of non-specific cola? £2.70 for a large waxy cup of artificial colouring and saccharine that neither quenches the thirst, nor tastes of whatever citrus fruit it purports to be. I don't even want to consider the cost of alcohol. I was driving, so it is best not to even go down that road. I don't think my blood pressure would take it. The carotid artery would just rupture and there'd be a fountain of blood spurting all over everywhere. No, I don't even want to contemplate how little change there would be, from a fiver, if any, for a pint of something that barely corresponds to any known recipe for beer. They should dress the spotty little oiks behind the counters in masks and tricorner hats, because the prices are nothing short of daylight robbery.
Right, merchandise. How can anyone justify the price of merchandise? I complained years ago at the cost of Yes merch, having refused to buy any on the Union tour. Don't think it is because I'm mean with money and I never buy stuff at gigs. I have drawers full of T-shirts, a shelf full of programmes and more CDs than you can, or would want to, shake a stick at, so I know whereof I speak. But, really, these prices are just taking the piss. A Monsters of Rock programme £8, which contains nothing but an advert for Alice Cooper, leaving you to shell out an outrageous £15 for a separate Alice Cooper programme! £4 for a key ring. Alice Cooper panties £10. Alice Cooper Dragontown bandanna, £10! Whathefu? But the best one of the lot was the Thunder 'skinny' T-shirt. Skinny means that it is nothing more than six square inches of cotton jersey with an iron on logo on the front and for this they stuck a price tag of £22 on them. I mean, even an Alice Cooper T-shirt that would have warmed the torso of a Siberian Mammoth only cost £18, fercrissakes! I realise that a T-shirt costs 20 quid these days. I'm not so old that I am totally out of touch. However, I fail to see why a T-shirt that is half the size shouldn't be half the price. Unless, of course, you are trying to rip-off a certain element of the consumer base, that is.
You would have thought that I would have finished bitching and moaning by now wouldn't you? 1000 words and I've not even got to the music yet.
The Manchester Evening News Arena does not allow digital photography, or so I was informed by a little man, in a four-sizes-too-big, banana-yellow jacket - obviously a reject from clown school. Not that that would have stopped me. Not the bands, nor the promoter: the Manchester Evening News Arena. If 'they' catch you, they'll make you wipe the pictures. He wasn't specific as to who 'they' were. It would certainly have taken someone much bigger than him to make a difference anyway. Normally, I would have thanked him for his concern and carried on regardless. However, even with my 6x optical zoom, the best I could do was a few small, coloured, blobs in the inky blackness of the rock firmament. It just wasn't worth the argument. Had I had some good shots, I would have argued the toss and they would have got nowhere near my 128MB SmartMedia card. Besides, I always carry a spare blank card, just in case...
Besides my general gripes with the MEN Arena, there were other problems, which can only be ascribed to the apathy of the general concert-going public. You see, in spite of the outstanding line up, the tickets had evidently not sold well in Manchester. So, whereas you would expect the stage to be across one of the curved ends, with both sides and the opposite end all packed to the steelwork, what had happened was that the stage was set up half way down the sides and the top tier was mostly curtained off. So, the tickets we had, at the front of the top tier, half way down one side, were actually looking at the stage, side-on, behind the PA.
Right, merchandise. How can anyone justify the price of merchandise? I complained years ago at the cost of Yes merch, having refused to buy any on the Union tour. Don't think it is because I'm mean with money and I never buy stuff at gigs. I have drawers full of T-shirts, a shelf full of programmes and more CDs than you can, or would want to, shake a stick at, so I know whereof I speak. But, really, these prices are just taking the piss. A Monsters of Rock programme £8, which contains nothing but an advert for Alice Cooper, leaving you to shell out an outrageous £15 for a separate Alice Cooper programme! £4 for a key ring. Alice Cooper panties £10. Alice Cooper Dragontown bandanna, £10! Whathefu? But the best one of the lot was the Thunder 'skinny' T-shirt. Skinny means that it is nothing more than six square inches of cotton jersey with an iron on logo on the front and for this they stuck a price tag of £22 on them. I mean, even an Alice Cooper T-shirt that would have warmed the torso of a Siberian Mammoth only cost £18, fercrissakes! I realise that a T-shirt costs 20 quid these days. I'm not so old that I am totally out of touch. However, I fail to see why a T-shirt that is half the size shouldn't be half the price. Unless, of course, you are trying to rip-off a certain element of the consumer base, that is.
You would have thought that I would have finished bitching and moaning by now wouldn't you? 1000 words and I've not even got to the music yet.
The Manchester Evening News Arena does not allow digital photography, or so I was informed by a little man, in a four-sizes-too-big, banana-yellow jacket - obviously a reject from clown school. Not that that would have stopped me. Not the bands, nor the promoter: the Manchester Evening News Arena. If 'they' catch you, they'll make you wipe the pictures. He wasn't specific as to who 'they' were. It would certainly have taken someone much bigger than him to make a difference anyway. Normally, I would have thanked him for his concern and carried on regardless. However, even with my 6x optical zoom, the best I could do was a few small, coloured, blobs in the inky blackness of the rock firmament. It just wasn't worth the argument. Had I had some good shots, I would have argued the toss and they would have got nowhere near my 128MB SmartMedia card. Besides, I always carry a spare blank card, just in case...
Besides my general gripes with the MEN Arena, there were other problems, which can only be ascribed to the apathy of the general concert-going public. You see, in spite of the outstanding line up, the tickets had evidently not sold well in Manchester. So, whereas you would expect the stage to be across one of the curved ends, with both sides and the opposite end all packed to the steelwork, what had happened was that the stage was set up half way down the sides and the top tier was mostly curtained off. So, the tickets we had, at the front of the top tier, half way down one side, were actually looking at the stage, side-on, behind the PA.
Calico Cooper
All in all, we both enjoyed the evening's music, but hated the venue with such a violent passion that we have vowed never to go back, unless we have front row seats or tickets on the floor.
As for The Monsters of Rock tour, those who made the effort saw a bloody good show, those who didn't, missed out, big time. Sadly, the MEN was only half-full at best, possibly due to the confusion over the bill, from day one. I know that the original line up didn't do much for me, in spite of Alice and the publicity did not make it clear that it was the Thunder.
20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing and, using it, the show would have been better booked on a sold out Apollo/Odeon tour than a half-filled arena tour, and the sound and the atmosphere would have been much better too. Credit to Danny Bowes, though for having the idea of doing this. It would be nice to see it happen again next year but after this year, whether it will, or not, remains to be seen. My daughter says that Iron Maiden would be a good headliner.
Mark L. Potts
The God of Thunder
22nd November 2002
As for The Monsters of Rock tour, those who made the effort saw a bloody good show, those who didn't, missed out, big time. Sadly, the MEN was only half-full at best, possibly due to the confusion over the bill, from day one. I know that the original line up didn't do much for me, in spite of Alice and the publicity did not make it clear that it was the Thunder.
20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing and, using it, the show would have been better booked on a sold out Apollo/Odeon tour than a half-filled arena tour, and the sound and the atmosphere would have been much better too. Credit to Danny Bowes, though for having the idea of doing this. It would be nice to see it happen again next year but after this year, whether it will, or not, remains to be seen. My daughter says that Iron Maiden would be a good headliner.
Mark L. Potts
The God of Thunder
22nd November 2002