Monsters of Rock 2006: Ted Nugent 3rd June 2006

Setlist: Stormtroopin’ / Wango Tango / Snakeskin Cowboys / Free For All / Wang Dang Sweet Poontang / Blues Interlude / KLSTRPHKME / RawDogs WarHogs / Motor City Madhouse-Baby Please Don’t Go / Cat Scratch Fever / Stranglehold
Surprisingly, I have never, ever seen ‘The Nuge’ live. I’m just as surprised as you are, believe me. What is more, I’m not quite sure how that has come to be the case. I know he doesn’t come and park his furry-tailed ass over here that often, but still, you would have thought I’d have caught him at least once in the last 30 years. Nope, not even so much as a blinking deer in the crosshairs of my high-powered assault rifle.
Anyhoo, that’s really beside the point and just an attempt to up the word count on my part. Ted Nugent is not the kind of person that the word ‘gray’ applies to. Nah-ah. No John Major, he. Ted is, well, just Ted. What you see is what you get. Love him, or hate him, he is the real deal. He is everything that is good about America and, conversely, pretty much everything that non-Americans hate about the good ol’ US of A.
Surprisingly, I have never, ever seen ‘The Nuge’ live. I’m just as surprised as you are, believe me. What is more, I’m not quite sure how that has come to be the case. I know he doesn’t come and park his furry-tailed ass over here that often, but still, you would have thought I’d have caught him at least once in the last 30 years. Nope, not even so much as a blinking deer in the crosshairs of my high-powered assault rifle.
Anyhoo, that’s really beside the point and just an attempt to up the word count on my part. Ted Nugent is not the kind of person that the word ‘gray’ applies to. Nah-ah. No John Major, he. Ted is, well, just Ted. What you see is what you get. Love him, or hate him, he is the real deal. He is everything that is good about America and, conversely, pretty much everything that non-Americans hate about the good ol’ US of A.

Ted loves to eat red meat, preferably raw and struggling, the heart still pumping.
Ted loves to catch his own food.
Ted loves to kill things that don’t run away fast enough. If that means that he has to use armour-piercing bullets to do that, so much the better.
Ted loves to drive his pick-up truck.
Ted loves to play his guitar.
Ted loves to talk dirty.
Ted loves to catch his own food.
Ted loves to kill things that don’t run away fast enough. If that means that he has to use armour-piercing bullets to do that, so much the better.
Ted loves to drive his pick-up truck.
Ted loves to play his guitar.
Ted loves to talk dirty.

Now, some of you out there might say that:
Well, if you count yourself amongst the aforementioned, all I have to say to you is: Shut the fuck up you whining, pinko-commie-faggot, pussy-whipped little beyotch!
You can’t pigeon-hole Ted Nugent and it’s a waste of oxygen to try. I accept that he doesn’t appeal to everyone and some of his behaviour, songs and views will cause offence to some people, but if that’s you, well, just don’t buy his CDs, visit his website, or go to his gigs! A lot of people here today, I think, from people in the crowd, to journalists drunk and insensible on the free alcohol in the hospitality tent, to other performers, were hoping that Ted was over the hill, too old, not the Ted he used to be, or just incapable of carrying off the Wildman of Rock title he has held for so long. If you are one of those disillusioned ne’er-do-wells, I’ve got some really, really bad news for you: Uncle Ted is here and he is as bad as he ever was. And I mean that in a good way. Or a bad way, depending on your POV!
- it’s wrong to kill animals
- gas-guzzling pick-up trucks pollute the environment
- loud guitar music will damage your hearing
- sex is nasty
Well, if you count yourself amongst the aforementioned, all I have to say to you is: Shut the fuck up you whining, pinko-commie-faggot, pussy-whipped little beyotch!
You can’t pigeon-hole Ted Nugent and it’s a waste of oxygen to try. I accept that he doesn’t appeal to everyone and some of his behaviour, songs and views will cause offence to some people, but if that’s you, well, just don’t buy his CDs, visit his website, or go to his gigs! A lot of people here today, I think, from people in the crowd, to journalists drunk and insensible on the free alcohol in the hospitality tent, to other performers, were hoping that Ted was over the hill, too old, not the Ted he used to be, or just incapable of carrying off the Wildman of Rock title he has held for so long. If you are one of those disillusioned ne’er-do-wells, I’ve got some really, really bad news for you: Uncle Ted is here and he is as bad as he ever was. And I mean that in a good way. Or a bad way, depending on your POV!

Oh yes, Ted’s still an animal, and thank God for that! He is bloody great entertainment and, boy, does he know how to work an audience. Even though he was on stage at 2 o clock in the afternoon, Ted, kicked ass like it was going to become illegal at 3PM. Backed-up by Barry Sparks and Mick Brown this trio is as good a band as you’ll get anywhere, and they gave us a full set of classics, performed with balls. Massive, hairy, Texas Longhorn balls. From the very first, it was quite clear that Ted was not interested in taking prisoners; this was all-out shoot first and let God sort ‘em out stuff. The first five songs were Stormtroopin’, Wango Tango, Snakeskin Cowboys, Free For All and Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, fercrissakes; that isn’t a rock concert, that is a declaration of war! And, after a brief bluesy chance to get your breath back, Ted got right back on track and took the set home in grand style finishing us all off with a wonderful rendition of Cat Scratch Fever and, finally, Stranglehold. Personally, I could have listened to Ted for another 45 minutes, quite happily. Of course, that would have meant no Queensryche…
The world needs bands like this and good ol’ boys like Ted. It would be such a dull place if everyone liked Queensryche, wouldn’t it? I mean, how can you not love a guy who has a big, bushy tail hanging off the ass of his pants and struts around the stage shouting: KLSTRPHKME! Welcome to the Milton Keynes Madhouse people.
Mark L. Potts
The God of Thunder
10th June 2006
The world needs bands like this and good ol’ boys like Ted. It would be such a dull place if everyone liked Queensryche, wouldn’t it? I mean, how can you not love a guy who has a big, bushy tail hanging off the ass of his pants and struts around the stage shouting: KLSTRPHKME! Welcome to the Milton Keynes Madhouse people.
Mark L. Potts
The God of Thunder
10th June 2006