Schloß Neuschwanstein - May 22nd 2009

In May and June, we had something like eight or nine public holidays. Bavaria is very religious. When I say religious, I mean Catholic, the maddest of all the religions. And when I say maddest of all religions, I mean it. They're nutzoid! Now, don't get one wrong, I am not being nasty and sacrilegious, I think all religions are insane and I don't subscribe to any of them. In Bavaria, when you register as a citizen, a question on the form is: Which religion do you subscribe to? If you answer Jedi Knight, then you will pay a tax to that religious order. That there is no way to pay the tax matters not a bollock, you will still be taxed. Mad. See what I mean? On my form I put: 'I do not subscribe to any religion.' That way they cannot tax me on it. :-) Pretty swift, eh?
Anyway, I have digressed. My point was that we have a lot of public holidays in Bavaria, on account of all the religion they have down here. I decided to make use of one of those days to visit Schloß Neuschwanstein, about two hours away on the train from Munich. If you want to bang that into Google Maps, the address is:
Neuschwansteinstr. 20, 87645 Schwangau, Germany.
Anyway, I have digressed. My point was that we have a lot of public holidays in Bavaria, on account of all the religion they have down here. I decided to make use of one of those days to visit Schloß Neuschwanstein, about two hours away on the train from Munich. If you want to bang that into Google Maps, the address is:
Neuschwansteinstr. 20, 87645 Schwangau, Germany.

Why did I want to go there? Well, funny you should ask. Actually, it’s quite weird. Yes, it is. This fairy tale castle inspired Walt Disney and he shamelessly ripped it off for his own ends. Ironic thing is that Team Rodent sues anyone who infringes on their imagery, yet that old anti-Semite ripped-off this place with nary a second thought. Yes, he did. Digression is becoming a way of life for me... Anyhoo, when I came out here for the interview, I found a leaflet for a tour of Neuschwanstein, which reminded me that as a kid, my mum used to tell me about this castle in Bavaria that she'd visited when she was a young girl. I never really paid much attention to it, until I saw the leaflet and it ticked a box somewhere in the back of my mind. It seemed strange that I should be out here near the place my mum had gone to many years ago; she wasn't exactly a widely-travelled person. I felt that it was a sign from the Gods of Rock 'n' Roll. I purchased my ticket for the Friday, thinking that it would be quieter and the weather forecast was better.
Castles are not uncommon in this part of the world. Indeed, besides Neuschwanstein, there are at least two other castles within spitting distance, given that you can spit a couple of furlongs and half an acre, of course. Neuschwanstein is the daddy of all castles though, and I'd challenge anyone to contradict me. It was built in the late 1800s and was the pet project of mad King Ludwig II of Bavaria. Lud was besotted with Wagner, swans, spending money like it was going out of fashion, and, if that was not enough, he was as gay a summer's day. If you fancy reading up on the castle, check out this link:
http://www.neuschwanstein.de/englisch/palace/index.htm
Unfortunately, Lud never saw the castle finished; he died before it was completed and, given that he had spent all of his money on it, pretty much all his family's money, and a good deal of tax payers money too, as soon as the darling boy had popped his clogs, all work stopped. Consequently, very little of the castle is anything other than stone walls, floors and ceilings. Those parts that are finished are stunning in every sense of the word. It depends on your viewpoint as to what you think of it. It is just so over the top, you could see Liberace being right at home here. It is as mad as a box of frogs but at the same time wonderful and unlike anything else you will ever see. For example, in Ludwig's bed chamber, there is so much ornately-carved woodwork that four carpenters spent four years working in just that one room. Ludwig certainly had a lot of wood.
The castle was also very technologically advanced too. It features running water, indoor plumbing, and the natural height of the castle and the local water supply generates hydroelectricity to power the kitchen. All very impressive for the late 19th Century.
Castles are not uncommon in this part of the world. Indeed, besides Neuschwanstein, there are at least two other castles within spitting distance, given that you can spit a couple of furlongs and half an acre, of course. Neuschwanstein is the daddy of all castles though, and I'd challenge anyone to contradict me. It was built in the late 1800s and was the pet project of mad King Ludwig II of Bavaria. Lud was besotted with Wagner, swans, spending money like it was going out of fashion, and, if that was not enough, he was as gay a summer's day. If you fancy reading up on the castle, check out this link:
http://www.neuschwanstein.de/englisch/palace/index.htm
Unfortunately, Lud never saw the castle finished; he died before it was completed and, given that he had spent all of his money on it, pretty much all his family's money, and a good deal of tax payers money too, as soon as the darling boy had popped his clogs, all work stopped. Consequently, very little of the castle is anything other than stone walls, floors and ceilings. Those parts that are finished are stunning in every sense of the word. It depends on your viewpoint as to what you think of it. It is just so over the top, you could see Liberace being right at home here. It is as mad as a box of frogs but at the same time wonderful and unlike anything else you will ever see. For example, in Ludwig's bed chamber, there is so much ornately-carved woodwork that four carpenters spent four years working in just that one room. Ludwig certainly had a lot of wood.
The castle was also very technologically advanced too. It features running water, indoor plumbing, and the natural height of the castle and the local water supply generates hydroelectricity to power the kitchen. All very impressive for the late 19th Century.

The pics pretty much tell their own story and show what I got up to in my bizarre adventures, which always seem to turn out more peculiarly than I could ever make up. The weather started out poor but suddenly became beautiful as I arrived at the castle. The classic view is taken from a bridge slung across the gorge. The Marienbrucke (Mary's Bridge) is really like something you see in an Indiana Jones movie and not for those of a nervous disposition. See the pictures for, well, pictures. What I hadn't expected was that the castle is in the middle of renovations and is surrounded by scaffolding and looks more like a Fairy Tale under construction. Somehow, it seemed appropriate, fairy tales are actually quite grim and black, rather than like a Disney film, and my pictures of the castle are unusual, to say the least.
I had avoided the hike up the mountain, opting for the sensible choice of the white-knuckle bus ride. I hiked down the gorge though; it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Recovering, and raising the level of blood in my alcohol system, I spent the remainder of the afternoon chatting to a couple from Australia, and another couple from Manilla, whilst sitting having a beer, awaiting the return of the young and vibrant ones, who had taken a bike ride to Swan Lake. I asked the couple from Australia, why they didn't sound Australian, sort of more Brummie. It turned out that they were originally from Dudley, having emigrated to Oz 50 years earlier. I always meet someone from Dudley, no matter where I go!
But, the most bizarre thing of all happened in the castle. You are not allowed to take photos inside the castle. Every single sneaky pic I took in there came out blank, except for one or two of the view through the windows. And now for the really bizarre thing. My mum always had a thing about the German word 'zweiundzwanzig', meaning twenty-two. The sound of it just made her laugh. (My mum was a character, what can I tell you. Do you think I'm like I am by chance?!) When I had finished the tour of the castle, I went in to the gift shop to purchase a booklet and some crap about the place. How much do you think I spent? Yup. Zweiundzwanzig Euro!
She would have liked that.
Click here for the next bit
I had avoided the hike up the mountain, opting for the sensible choice of the white-knuckle bus ride. I hiked down the gorge though; it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Recovering, and raising the level of blood in my alcohol system, I spent the remainder of the afternoon chatting to a couple from Australia, and another couple from Manilla, whilst sitting having a beer, awaiting the return of the young and vibrant ones, who had taken a bike ride to Swan Lake. I asked the couple from Australia, why they didn't sound Australian, sort of more Brummie. It turned out that they were originally from Dudley, having emigrated to Oz 50 years earlier. I always meet someone from Dudley, no matter where I go!
But, the most bizarre thing of all happened in the castle. You are not allowed to take photos inside the castle. Every single sneaky pic I took in there came out blank, except for one or two of the view through the windows. And now for the really bizarre thing. My mum always had a thing about the German word 'zweiundzwanzig', meaning twenty-two. The sound of it just made her laugh. (My mum was a character, what can I tell you. Do you think I'm like I am by chance?!) When I had finished the tour of the castle, I went in to the gift shop to purchase a booklet and some crap about the place. How much do you think I spent? Yup. Zweiundzwanzig Euro!
She would have liked that.
Click here for the next bit