Parklive 2013 - Friday 12th July 2013
Marquee Stage

By Friday, I simply had to go down to the site, stand around and look important. Then, all the bands would arrive, play, leave and everything would go all smoothly, and everyone would be happy. Yeah, that fantasy left the building just as I got there. The stage, lights, PA, and everything else had been fettled on the Thursday evening and Friday afternoon. The first band, Junker, had arrived but, unfortunately, the sound man had been delayed and was on his way. The schedule had slipped and we hadn't even powered up the system. Bugger!
Junker

I love this band. Featuring my old mate Gash on bass and vocals, this is low down, nasty, take-no-prisoners, bad-ass hardcore-rockpunkfunk music. It's not subtle. Unless, that is, you think that subtle is a slap round the head with the business end of a 10” black, latex dildo. According to their own biog, Junker's music is: '...stripped down to the fundamentals, the music you'd have blaring from your dune buggy at 100mph whilst firing machine guns at zombies'.
Works for me!
With songs like Sick, Eureka! She's Dead! Something Not Right, and Text Pest, these blokes will give you a sound thrashing and they will laugh maniacally whilst doing it. They will not be content until you are left a dribbling wreck in the middle of a bloody floor, flapping around helplessly in a pool of your own bodily fluids. I'm serious. They are not messing about. They are the kind of bad men you mum warned you not to talk to or, take sweeties from.
Sadly, due to time constraints (they hadn't been able to start when they should have) I had to cut Junker's set short. It wasn't their fault. It was circumstances and me not knowing what I was doing. I learned a valuable lesson right there at the very beginning of the weekend. I'll know next time. And, there will be a next time, cos I want a full set out of Junker. They were very understanding and really nice about it. After I regained consciousness and got out of the gaffer tape bindings, that is... Asbury Park all over again...
Works for me!
With songs like Sick, Eureka! She's Dead! Something Not Right, and Text Pest, these blokes will give you a sound thrashing and they will laugh maniacally whilst doing it. They will not be content until you are left a dribbling wreck in the middle of a bloody floor, flapping around helplessly in a pool of your own bodily fluids. I'm serious. They are not messing about. They are the kind of bad men you mum warned you not to talk to or, take sweeties from.
Sadly, due to time constraints (they hadn't been able to start when they should have) I had to cut Junker's set short. It wasn't their fault. It was circumstances and me not knowing what I was doing. I learned a valuable lesson right there at the very beginning of the weekend. I'll know next time. And, there will be a next time, cos I want a full set out of Junker. They were very understanding and really nice about it. After I regained consciousness and got out of the gaffer tape bindings, that is... Asbury Park all over again...
The Fragrant Vagrants

'Born out of the ramshackles of Mossley Cricket Club, The Fragrant Vagrants are neither sweet smelling, nor homeless. They do, however, hail from Congleton and come armed with an arsenal of guitar-driven jerky garage punk-pop. Comprising of Jens (guitar & vocals), Banjo (lead guitar & backing vocals), Ricardo (bass & backing vocals) and Jeremiah (drums & percussion) their backgrounds and influences are too broad to mention. It’s fair to say, however, that flavours of post-punk and indie rock can be heard in their sounds along with an appreciation of taxidermy, geology, fishing and cricket.'
The Fragrant Vagrants are not particularly fragrant nor, are they bona fide vagrants. Indeed, they are all well-respected, gentlemen in our local community. What is more, one of them was conspicuous by his absence. Nevertheless, in spite of my reservations about the Trade Descriptions Act 1968, I let them play and I very nearly enjoyed them. But, let's not let sentimentality get the better of us. They're OK, I suppose.
After The FragVags left the stage, I caught up with their drummer and commented, “You were much better than I was expecting!”
“We get that a lot,” he replied.
This is mainly because they tell everybody not to expect much. It's a pleasant surprise to find that they are, actually, pretty good. At least I think it is. I don't really do pleasant so, I'm just guessing.
Upshot is: You won't hate them but, remember, they're Gremlins so, don't feed them after dark.
The Fragrant Vagrants are not particularly fragrant nor, are they bona fide vagrants. Indeed, they are all well-respected, gentlemen in our local community. What is more, one of them was conspicuous by his absence. Nevertheless, in spite of my reservations about the Trade Descriptions Act 1968, I let them play and I very nearly enjoyed them. But, let's not let sentimentality get the better of us. They're OK, I suppose.
After The FragVags left the stage, I caught up with their drummer and commented, “You were much better than I was expecting!”
“We get that a lot,” he replied.
This is mainly because they tell everybody not to expect much. It's a pleasant surprise to find that they are, actually, pretty good. At least I think it is. I don't really do pleasant so, I'm just guessing.
Upshot is: You won't hate them but, remember, they're Gremlins so, don't feed them after dark.
The Eyres

'With tight musicianship, exciting anthems and an energetic stage presence, expect a killer LIVE performance.'
Their own blurb says it all, quite succinctly. Seriously, just go and see them. These youngsters from Crewe are damned good and they will rock your socks off. Hate them because they are young, but give them a listen first and you can thank me later. Just post your letters of thanks through the door at BearTown Radio, suitably inscribed on pictures of Adam Smith. I thank you!
Their own blurb says it all, quite succinctly. Seriously, just go and see them. These youngsters from Crewe are damned good and they will rock your socks off. Hate them because they are young, but give them a listen first and you can thank me later. Just post your letters of thanks through the door at BearTown Radio, suitably inscribed on pictures of Adam Smith. I thank you!
Ron Jeremy's Cream Missile Explosion

'Anything could potentially happen...
A three piece from the shirey plains of Dongleton.'
I don't know what I can add to that. I know these guys and, the first time I saw them play live, I was as shocked, as anyone, to find out how good they were. I really was. It wasn't that I thought they were bad musicians. No, what surprised me was HOW GOOD they are. I'm not often speechless but RJCME left me gibbering away in a corner like a village idiot. The musicianship, I expected. The choice of material and the quality of the performance was what surprised me. But, you know what, these virile, manly, young men carried it off and I rather enjoy hearing a Foo Fighters tune sandwiched between Curtis Mayfield and James Brown classics. There was some Kinks, some Doors and the odd QOTSA tune. If it's good music, it goes anywhere.
One of the biggest hits of the Parklive weekend, for sure and, deservedly so.
A three piece from the shirey plains of Dongleton.'
I don't know what I can add to that. I know these guys and, the first time I saw them play live, I was as shocked, as anyone, to find out how good they were. I really was. It wasn't that I thought they were bad musicians. No, what surprised me was HOW GOOD they are. I'm not often speechless but RJCME left me gibbering away in a corner like a village idiot. The musicianship, I expected. The choice of material and the quality of the performance was what surprised me. But, you know what, these virile, manly, young men carried it off and I rather enjoy hearing a Foo Fighters tune sandwiched between Curtis Mayfield and James Brown classics. There was some Kinks, some Doors and the odd QOTSA tune. If it's good music, it goes anywhere.
One of the biggest hits of the Parklive weekend, for sure and, deservedly so.
Hazzard

Their own Facebook describes Hazzard as a 'musical juggernaut'. Far be it from me to disagree. I hate to admit stuff like this but, I sometimes have to; I was impressed.
Yep. Gosh darn it, but they were really good. I wasn't expecting them to be bad but I met MacDuff (their guitarist) through BearTown Radio and I didn't even know he played guitar, let alone was in a band. So, when someone said that he was in Hazzard, I thought, OK. I'll be nice, for once. Luckily, I don't have to be nice, which is a big relief for me, as I have no idea how to even start with that shit.
Their set was a nice selection of classic rock tracks that they played extremely well and I thoroughly enjoyed them. From my point of view, the highlight was when they let MacDuff sing one. Needless to say, it was 500 miles, by The Proclaimers, which, given his rather distinctive Glaswegian accent, was appropriate and somewhat mirthsome. I'm not really sure why it was funny but, in the convoluted whorls of my mind, it was, in just the same way as getting him to say 'Murder' is. Maybe I'm just a total racist. I've been accused of worse. I'll live with it.
Still, they were fun and if you like a bit of classic 80s and 90s rock performed really well, you could do worse than catch them live.
Yep. Gosh darn it, but they were really good. I wasn't expecting them to be bad but I met MacDuff (their guitarist) through BearTown Radio and I didn't even know he played guitar, let alone was in a band. So, when someone said that he was in Hazzard, I thought, OK. I'll be nice, for once. Luckily, I don't have to be nice, which is a big relief for me, as I have no idea how to even start with that shit.
Their set was a nice selection of classic rock tracks that they played extremely well and I thoroughly enjoyed them. From my point of view, the highlight was when they let MacDuff sing one. Needless to say, it was 500 miles, by The Proclaimers, which, given his rather distinctive Glaswegian accent, was appropriate and somewhat mirthsome. I'm not really sure why it was funny but, in the convoluted whorls of my mind, it was, in just the same way as getting him to say 'Murder' is. Maybe I'm just a total racist. I've been accused of worse. I'll live with it.
Still, they were fun and if you like a bit of classic 80s and 90s rock performed really well, you could do worse than catch them live.
By the time Hazzard left the stage just after 11pm, I was quite exhausted. Yeah, I'd screwed up a couple of things but, hell, I'd never done this before and I admitted that I didn't have a clue what I was doing. No one had died and everyone had played, and I hadn't had a heart attack. Stop shouting at me, godammit! Give me a break, why doncha?!