Job hunting is a thankless task. For every hundred jobs you apply for (and, if you are claiming benefits, you have to apply for anything 'they' deem appropriate - even if they don't actually understand what an Instructional Designer is or does or, that their system doesn't, actually, have a category for e-learning.
Personally, I feel that only applying for jobs that you stand a chance of getting is the most sensible approach. If I don't think I can do a job or, that I am not qualified to do it, what is the point of applying? Every job I have ever taken has been pretty easy to land. Let me explain.
I know when I apply, if I am suitable. If, after reading my CV, they want to see me, the chances are that, I will get the job. I'm not being big-headed, that's just the way it has gone. They want to see me because of what is in my CV.
So, looking for a job, the other day, I came across one that I thought: Oh, that sounds right up my street. And, it was. Head of Training for a company in Warrington. Fantastic. Pretty good salary too, about £70K. It would do me. Then, of course, I saw who it was for...
Given my relationship with Talk Talk, an application was never going to succeed. All they had to do was run my name through their computer system and all manner of shit and corruption would be going down. My last communication with them ended with: 'I'll see you in court.'
So, I thought that I would take a different route. Part of being successful with job applications is being noticed, usually, in a good way. You can say good things about me, you can say bad things about me, but, please, just say something about me, is my modus vivendi. So, I decided to go for an unusual approach. The sensible approach hasn't worked in the last couple of years! Below is the text of my covering letter...
Personally, I feel that only applying for jobs that you stand a chance of getting is the most sensible approach. If I don't think I can do a job or, that I am not qualified to do it, what is the point of applying? Every job I have ever taken has been pretty easy to land. Let me explain.
I know when I apply, if I am suitable. If, after reading my CV, they want to see me, the chances are that, I will get the job. I'm not being big-headed, that's just the way it has gone. They want to see me because of what is in my CV.
So, looking for a job, the other day, I came across one that I thought: Oh, that sounds right up my street. And, it was. Head of Training for a company in Warrington. Fantastic. Pretty good salary too, about £70K. It would do me. Then, of course, I saw who it was for...
Given my relationship with Talk Talk, an application was never going to succeed. All they had to do was run my name through their computer system and all manner of shit and corruption would be going down. My last communication with them ended with: 'I'll see you in court.'
So, I thought that I would take a different route. Part of being successful with job applications is being noticed, usually, in a good way. You can say good things about me, you can say bad things about me, but, please, just say something about me, is my modus vivendi. So, I decided to go for an unusual approach. The sensible approach hasn't worked in the last couple of years! Below is the text of my covering letter...
Please find attached, my CV, in respect of this vacancy.
Why have I applied? Well, besides the fact that I am qualified, I was, for a short time, a customer of Talk Talk.
You need my experience and knowledge because your company is a nightmare to do business with. Your customer satisfaction rating is the worst of any telecoms company and your employees are poorly trained and do a bad job. Most of your call centre staff are woefully incompetent or, badly trained.
In short, your company is a shambles and your Training Manager should not be taken back after her maternity leave finishes.
You need me because I have suffered at the hands of your corporate incompetence and I know what the problems are. Moreover, with 25 years of experience, I know how to implement a solution.
However, I doubt that you will give me the time of day. Talk Talk thinks it is fantastic and can only be taken down by Kryptonite so, you will view this application with disdain and file it in the round cabinet. Nevertheless, I shall post this on my website, just because I can, and we shall see if you actually have any moral fibre in the company. Someone who genuinely wants Talk Talk to be a good company would, at least, phone me.
I look forward to hearing from you, at your earliest convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Mark L. Potts
Why have I applied? Well, besides the fact that I am qualified, I was, for a short time, a customer of Talk Talk.
You need my experience and knowledge because your company is a nightmare to do business with. Your customer satisfaction rating is the worst of any telecoms company and your employees are poorly trained and do a bad job. Most of your call centre staff are woefully incompetent or, badly trained.
In short, your company is a shambles and your Training Manager should not be taken back after her maternity leave finishes.
You need me because I have suffered at the hands of your corporate incompetence and I know what the problems are. Moreover, with 25 years of experience, I know how to implement a solution.
However, I doubt that you will give me the time of day. Talk Talk thinks it is fantastic and can only be taken down by Kryptonite so, you will view this application with disdain and file it in the round cabinet. Nevertheless, I shall post this on my website, just because I can, and we shall see if you actually have any moral fibre in the company. Someone who genuinely wants Talk Talk to be a good company would, at least, phone me.
I look forward to hearing from you, at your earliest convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Mark L. Potts
I'll let you know if I hear anything. I dare Talk Talk to invite me for an interview!
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