Top Ten Ways To Kill Someone by guest contributor Max Darkness
Bubbling under:
- Arsenic
- Belladonna
- Thallium
- Antimony
- Digitalis
- Strychnine
Antimony
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Arsenic
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Belladonna
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Digitalis
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Strychnine
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Thallium
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Don't get me wrong, these are all lovely ways to do away with that irksome spouse or tiresome business partner, but they can be quite tricky and, besides, a lot of bad publicity in films and the CSI craze in recent years, has raised awareness and made these options less attractive - if you want to get away with it, that is! I may well come back to these, at some point, when we look at how to do away with someone horribly! Ah, strychnine: so painful a death...
So, on with the best way to get rid of someone and still stand a chance of getting away with it. Culled from various sources, some real, some from movies and books, the following are just such fun, I think you will agree.
Oh, I suppose I should point out that I am not suggesting that any of you geniuses go out and try any of these. But, these days, you have to state the bleedin' obvious just because there are too many freaks out there who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Welcome to the 21st century, people. This is just a bit of fun, isn't it?
So, on with the best way to get rid of someone and still stand a chance of getting away with it. Culled from various sources, some real, some from movies and books, the following are just such fun, I think you will agree.
Oh, I suppose I should point out that I am not suggesting that any of you geniuses go out and try any of these. But, these days, you have to state the bleedin' obvious just because there are too many freaks out there who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Welcome to the 21st century, people. This is just a bit of fun, isn't it?
10. Insulin
Insulin
A very tidy way of getting rid of someone.
Fairly easy to get hold of, easy to administer (even anonymously and from a distance) and does the job quickly. The real beauty is that it is not easy to detect and very easy to overlook.
Fairly easy to get hold of, easy to administer (even anonymously and from a distance) and does the job quickly. The real beauty is that it is not easy to detect and very easy to overlook.
9. Nicotine Sulphate
Nicotine Sulphate
I first saw this one on an old episode of Columbo. A beauty if the intended victim is a smoker, as it is so easy to overlook.
Relatively simple to inject concentrated nicotine (Nicotine Sulphate) into the victim's own cigarettes. When they light up they get a massive nicotine overdose and die rapidly. Of course, as the person is a smoker, it comes as no surprise that there is nicotine present in the body. A persistent coroner might notice the high level of nicotine, but he would have to be looking for it! Nice.
Relatively simple to inject concentrated nicotine (Nicotine Sulphate) into the victim's own cigarettes. When they light up they get a massive nicotine overdose and die rapidly. Of course, as the person is a smoker, it comes as no surprise that there is nicotine present in the body. A persistent coroner might notice the high level of nicotine, but he would have to be looking for it! Nice.
8. Embolism
An embolism
Very tasty and the only method of detection is if a nosy coroner detects an unexpected needle mark - so always inject into a freckle.
You have a choice, Perrier is good, but my own preference would be for a syringe full of air directly into the bloodstream, cause your embolism, Bob's your uncle and Fanny was your aunt, before you offed her!
You have a choice, Perrier is good, but my own preference would be for a syringe full of air directly into the bloodstream, cause your embolism, Bob's your uncle and Fanny was your aunt, before you offed her!
7. Quail (fed on Hemlock)
Quail
Very creative this one. Quail, for some reason, have an innate immunity to hemlock but, I love this part, if you were to serve Quail fed on hemlock to your victim, Bada Bing!
Hemlock is nice because it is so easily available, and free! It grows wild all over Europe and North America. The leaves look like parsley and can easily be used as a garnish, or in a salad. All parts of the plant are poisonous, though, which is nice.
It causes paralysis of muscles within about 30 minutes of ingestion but the mind stays clear and focused until the very end. Death is usually due to asphyxiation through paralysis of the lungs. There is no antidote.
It can be detected in the liver, blood and tissue, post mortem, but really you have to be looking for it. This is a really good way to top someone who is a heavy drinker. (A variation on this theme is Rabbit fed on Belladonna.)
Hemlock is nice because it is so easily available, and free! It grows wild all over Europe and North America. The leaves look like parsley and can easily be used as a garnish, or in a salad. All parts of the plant are poisonous, though, which is nice.
It causes paralysis of muscles within about 30 minutes of ingestion but the mind stays clear and focused until the very end. Death is usually due to asphyxiation through paralysis of the lungs. There is no antidote.
It can be detected in the liver, blood and tissue, post mortem, but really you have to be looking for it. This is a really good way to top someone who is a heavy drinker. (A variation on this theme is Rabbit fed on Belladonna.)
Ricin
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Hemlock
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6. Ricin
Castor Oil plant
What can you say about Ricin? Almost the perfect poison. Almost impossible to detect after death, which is usually attributed to blood poisoning! Ha! What is more, death can be up to 12 days after ingestion - you're miles away by then!
Extracted from the beans or seeds of the Castor Oil plant (I used to have one of those!) it is one of the most toxic substances known. One gram is enough to kill 36,000 people. About six beans, ground by pestle and mortar, are enough for a fatal dose. As it has a hot, burning sensation on first taste, coffee, curry or chilli are the best ways of administering it. Nausea, cramps, vomiting eventually give way to complete circulatory collapse. Very neat
Extracted from the beans or seeds of the Castor Oil plant (I used to have one of those!) it is one of the most toxic substances known. One gram is enough to kill 36,000 people. About six beans, ground by pestle and mortar, are enough for a fatal dose. As it has a hot, burning sensation on first taste, coffee, curry or chilli are the best ways of administering it. Nausea, cramps, vomiting eventually give way to complete circulatory collapse. Very neat
5. Curare
Curare
Sweet and very quick.
Injected into the body, it causes paralysis in seconds that lasts for up to 30 minutes. Unfortunately, unless the victim is on a ventilator during those 30 minutes, they die as it paralyses all muscles, including the respiratory muscles.
Curare comes from South American jungle vines and can be purchased easily over the Internet by credit card. It has no effect if taken orally; it must be injected, so look for a freckle.
Whilst the inflamed liver can give it away as cause of death, almost impossible to prove, post mortem.
Injected into the body, it causes paralysis in seconds that lasts for up to 30 minutes. Unfortunately, unless the victim is on a ventilator during those 30 minutes, they die as it paralyses all muscles, including the respiratory muscles.
Curare comes from South American jungle vines and can be purchased easily over the Internet by credit card. It has no effect if taken orally; it must be injected, so look for a freckle.
Whilst the inflamed liver can give it away as cause of death, almost impossible to prove, post mortem.
4. Fugu
Fugu
Such a creative and pretty way to kill someone, I've always thought.
Care needs to be taken though, as it is the liver, ovaries and roe that are poisonous. Served as a delicacy in Japan, more than 100 people die each year accidentally. So, care needs to be taken to arrange the circumstances so that accidental death is plausible.
Care needs to be taken though, as it is the liver, ovaries and roe that are poisonous. Served as a delicacy in Japan, more than 100 people die each year accidentally. So, care needs to be taken to arrange the circumstances so that accidental death is plausible.
Preparation of Fugu fish
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Preparation of Fugu fish...
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The finished dish...
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3. Defenstration
 Yeah, from right up there...
Pushing someone out of a window or, from a high building.
So easy, cheap and simple, and a lovely word too. Say it: DEFENESTRATION. Care needs to be taken with motive and alibi but otherwise, perfect and relatively little effort. |
2. Icicle
 Cool
Through the eye:
Bruce Willis in Die Hard II. Sweet! Nuff said! |
1. Lamb
Tasty!
My personal favourite. I saw this one years ago on one of those creepy 1970s UK TV shows. Such a fun and tasty way to enter the business of mercy killing.
Diabolically fiendish in its simplicity.
Kill the victim with a frozen leg of lamb - a single blow to the head shouldn't cause much in the blood spatter department - cook and eat the evidence. OK, you still have to explain away - or dispose of - the corpse but, without a murder weapon...
Whilst it doesn't have the exotic aspects of curare, or the raw creativity of Quail fed on hemlock and rabbits fed on Belladonna, it is such a beautifully English way to do away with a loved one, I like to think. I do like a nice leg of minted lamb and roast potatoes. Yum!
Diabolically fiendish in its simplicity.
Kill the victim with a frozen leg of lamb - a single blow to the head shouldn't cause much in the blood spatter department - cook and eat the evidence. OK, you still have to explain away - or dispose of - the corpse but, without a murder weapon...
Whilst it doesn't have the exotic aspects of curare, or the raw creativity of Quail fed on hemlock and rabbits fed on Belladonna, it is such a beautifully English way to do away with a loved one, I like to think. I do like a nice leg of minted lamb and roast potatoes. Yum!