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        • First Boston Walkabout - Copley Plaza
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        • First Boston Walkabout - Charlestown Naval Yard >
          • USS Constitution
          • USS Cassin Young
        • First Boston Walkabout - Beacon Hill
      • Final Boston Walkabout
      • Blackpool (Post Apocalypse)
      • Liverpool
      • Manchester - Brief Walkabout
      • Glasgow
      • First Munich Walkabout
      • Munich Faschingsdienstag Walkabout
      • Second Munich Walkabout
      • Munich Walkabout with Firstborn & Lizzie I
      • Munich Walkabout with Firstborn & Lizzie II
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    • Old Stuff
    • Random Stuff >
      • The Garden of Unearthly Delights I
      • The Garden of Unearthly Delights II
      • The Garden of Unearthly Delights III: Christmas Special
    • Weird Stuff >
      • Top Ten Plagues
      • Top Ten Gangsters
      • Top Ten Ways To Kill Someone
      • Top Ten Hairstyles For The Follicly-Challenged
      • Top Ten Stars on Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame
  • Gigs
    • 2017 Gigs >
      • Iron Maiden - Leeds
      • Norman Beaker Band - Blackpool
      • Ian Hunter - Liverpool
      • Cheap Trick - Manchester
    • 2016 Gigs >
      • Congleton Unplugged 2016 >
        • Congleton Unplugged 2016 - Saturday
        • Congleton Unplugged 2016 - Sunday
    • 2014 Gigs >
      • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2014 >
        • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2014 - Saturday
        • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2014 - Sunday
      • Dirty Dozen - Congleton
      • Chantel McGregor - Wolverhampton
      • Chris Bevington & Friends - Wolverhampton
      • Sweet Winn Dixie - Congleton
      • Congleton Unplugged 2014 >
        • Congleton Unplugged 2014 - Friday
        • Congleton Unplugged 2014 - Saturday
        • Congleton Unplugged 2014 - Sunday
      • The Fire Beneath The Sea - Blackpool
    • 2013 Gigs >
      • BearTown Radio 1st Birthday Bash 2013
      • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2013 >
        • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2013 - Friday
        • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2013 - Saturday
        • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2013 - Sunday
      • Parklive 2013 >
        • Parklive 2013 - Friday Marquee
        • Parklive 2013 - Saturday Park
        • Parklive 2013 - Saturday Marquee
      • No Strings Attached - Congleton >
        • NSA: Adam French
      • The Dirty Dozen - Congleton >
        • TDD: The Fire Beneath The Sea - Congleton
      • Maschine - Congleton
      • Congleton Unplugged 2013 >
        • CU 2013: Sweet Winn Dixie
        • CU 2013: John Ainsworth
        • CU 2013: Jim Kirkpatrick
        • CU 2013: Phil Maddocks
        • CU 2013: The Robin Pierce Band
    • 2012 Gigs >
      • The Post Apocalypse Party 2012
      • Congleton Jazz and Blues Festival 2012 >
        • CJ&BF: Steve Hayes and Les Hunt
        • CJ&BF: The Beartown Stompers
        • CJ&BF: The Robin Pierce Band
        • CJ&BF: Phil Maddocks
        • CJ&BF: The Hexmen
      • The Rittz and Friends Festival - Congleton >
        • TRAFF: Thomas Twemlow
        • TRAFF: Amy Condrey
        • TRAFF: Phil Maddocks & Nick Bayes
        • TRAFF: Faux Feet
        • TRAFF: John Ainsworth
        • TRAFF: Dirty Green Vinyl
        • TRAFF: Luke Gray & Danny Wilde
        • TRAFF: Hoodie Ledbetter
        • TRAFF: Kill The Young
        • TRAFF: The Rittz
      • The Dirty Dozen - Congleton >
        • TDD: Thought Glands
        • TDD: Fieldhouse
    • 2011 Gigs >
      • Fun House (November) - Congleton
      • Demon - Kingsley Holt
      • Fun House (August) - Congleton
      • Fun House (July) - Congleton
      • Johnnie Walker - Bradford
      • Fieldhouse - Liverpool
      • Kush - Liverpool
    • 2010 Gigs >
      • Wolfmother - Munich
      • Dave Matthews Band - Munich
      • Chris Rea - Munich
      • Dave Matthews Band - Manchester
      • Joe Perry Project - Sheffield
      • Bad Company - Sheffield
      • The Mayhem Effect - Congleton
      • Demon - Leek Arts Festival
      • Mark Knopfler - Munich
    • 2009 Gigs >
      • Sweden Rock Festival >
        • About SRF 2009
        • SRF: The Tubes
        • SRF: ZZ Top
        • SRF: Over the Rainbow
        • SRF: Marillion
        • SRF: Demon
        • SRF: Johnny Winter
        • SRF: Motörhead
        • SRF: Riot
        • SRF: Blackfoot
        • SRF: Journey
        • SRF: Goda Grannar
      • Keep It True
      • Y&T - Munich
      • Foreigner - Munich
      • Bruce Springsteen - Munich
      • Eric Burdon - Munich
      • Gary Moore - Munich
      • Demon - Dudley
      • Hamburg Blues Band - Munich
      • Mott the Hoople - Hammersmith
      • Night at the Flamingo - Blackpool
      • Magnum - Munich
      • Pavlov's Dog - Munich
      • Uriah Heep - Munich
      • Ace Frehley - Munich
    • 2007 Gigs >
      • Little Barrie - Manchester II
      • Demon - Wolverhampton III
      • Diamond Head - Wolverhampton V
      • Demon - Antwerp
      • Demon - Nottingham
    • 2006 Gigs >
      • Helloween - Bradford
      • Yellowcard - Manchester
      • Robin Trower - Manchester
      • Dave Matthews - Manchester
      • Mountain - Manchester
      • Danko Jones - Manchester
      • Monsters of Rock 2006 >
        • About Monsters of Rock 2006
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Roadstar
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Ted Nugent
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Queensryche
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Thunder
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Journey
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Alice Cooper
        • Monsters of Rock 2006: Deep Purple
      • Journey - Manchester
      • Demon - Sheffield
      • Bob Catley - Sheffield
      • Demon - Cheltenham
      • Bob Catley - Leek WM
      • Demon - Leek WM
      • Little Barrie - Manchester I
      • Wolfmother - Manchester
      • UFO - Manchester
      • Demon - Crewe III
      • Demon - Nuneaton
      • Iron Maiden - Sheffield
    • 2005 Gigs >
      • Velvet Revolver - Manchester
      • Megadeth - Manchester
      • Diamond Head - Manchester
      • Fozzy - Manchester
      • Wishbone Ash - Blawnox PA
      • The Midnight Creeps - Providence RI
      • Danko Jones - Cambridge MA
      • Demon - Leek II B
      • Demon - Birkenhead
      • Donington 2005 >
        • About Donington 2005
        • Donington 2005: Fozzy
        • Donington 2005: Megadeth
        • Donington 2005: Billy Idol
        • Donington 2005: HIM
        • Donington 2005: Velvet Revolver
        • Donington 2005: Black Sabbath
        • Donington 2005: Slipknot
        • Donington 2005: The MC5
        • Donington 2005: Motorhead
      • Kings of Leon - Manchester
      • Danko Jones - Philadelphia
      • Sonny Landreth - Ocean City NJ
      • Derek Trucks Band - Ocean City NJ
      • Leeds Festival 2005 >
        • About Leeds Festival 2005
        • Leeds Festival 2005: Funeral For A Friend
        • Leeds Festival 2005: Iggy Pop
        • Leeds Festival 2005: Marilyn Manson
        • Leeds Festival 2005: Iron Maiden
      • Iron Maiden - Hammersmith
      • Diamond Head - Stourbridge
    • 2004 Gigs >
      • Hughes-Turner Project - Dudley II
      • Wishbone Ash - Crewe
      • Donington 2004 - Hoobastank
      • Donington 2004 - Danko Jones
      • Donington 2004 - Metallica
      • UFO - Wolverhampton
      • Marillion - Wolverhampton
      • Marillion - Leeds
      • Nazareth - Manchester
      • Bill Nelson - Manchester
      • Nils Lofgren - Wolverhampton
      • Living Colour - Manchester
      • Rush - Birmingham
    • 2003 Gigs >
      • HITS UK - Bradford
      • Demon - Leek I-A
      • Iron Maiden - Donington
      • HITS UK - Morecambe
      • Blue Öyster Cult - Wolverhampton
      • Alice Cooper - Wolverhampton
      • Rat Dog - Wolverhampton
      • Budgie - Crewe
      • Thunder - Wolverhampton
      • Iron Maiden - Sheffield & Birmingham
    • 2002 Gigs >
      • Chris Farlowe - Crewe
      • Diamond Head - Wrexham
      • Budgie - Wrexham
      • The Blues Brother's Band - Manchester
      • Man - Crewe
      • Mountain - Dudley
      • Stray - Dudley
      • Iron Maiden - Brixton >
        • Iron Maiden - Brixton Academy: Getting there
        • Iron Maiden - Brixton Academy: Getting home
      • Diamond Head - Crewe III
      • Rick Derringer - Crewe
      • Pat Travers - Crewe
      • Ian Hunter - Crewe
      • HITS Blackpool 2002
      • HITS USA 2002 - Saturday
      • HITS USA 2002 - Sunday
      • Diamond Head - Hanley
      • 21st Century Schizoid Band - Crewe
      • Diamond Head - Crewe IV
      • Diamond Head - Ashton
      • Hughes-Turner Project - Dudley I
      • Jefferson Starship - Wolverhampton
      • Budgie - Crewe
      • Monsters of Rock - Manchester >
        • Monsters of Rock - Alice Cooper
        • Monsters of Rock - Thunder
        • Monsters of Rock - The Quireboys
        • Monsters of Rock -Dogs D'Amour
    • 2001 Gigs >
      • Demon - Crewe I
      • Demon - Leek Moorlands
      • Diamond Head - Crewe I
      • Black Crowes - Brixton Academy
      • Demon - Newcastle Oxford
      • Rockshield Festival >
        • Rockshield - Wishbone Ash
        • Rockshield - Girlschool
        • Rockshield - Demon
        • Rockshield - Diamond Head
      • Demon - Crewe II
      • Demon - Leek FC II
      • Pat Travers - Wolverhampton
      • Demon - Macclesfield
      • Diamond Head - Crewe II
      • Demon - Camden I
    • 2000 Gigs >
      • Demon - Wolverhampton I
      • Demon - Telford
      • Demon - Newcastle (Rigger)
      • Demon - Leicester
      • Demon - Leek FC I
      • Demon - Stoke
      • Demon - Wolverhampton II
      • Demon - SOM Rehearsal
    • 20th Century Gigs >
      • 1990s >
        • Man - Swansea 1999
        • Man - London 1999
        • Man - Croydon 1999
        • Man - Stoke 1998
        • Man - Blackpool 1993
      • 1980s >
        • Man - Reading 1983
        • Reading Festival 1983
        • RockPop 1982
        • Rockpalast 1982
        • Alice Cooper - London 1982
        • Reading Festival 1981
        • Diamond Head - Leeds 1981
        • Whitesnake - Bradford 1980
        • Iron Maiden - Leeds 1980
        • Monsters of Rock 1980
      • 1970s >
        • Buzzcocks - Manchester 1978
  • Travels
    • 2015 Travels >
      • Toxteth Walkabout
      • Eclipsage - Toxteth Cemetery
      • Crosby - Another Place
      • Crosby - Sunset
    • 2014 Travels >
      • Brimham Rocks
      • Harrogate
      • Liverpool - Divergence I >
        • Liverpool - Sefton Park
        • Liverpool - L7 4LB
        • Liverpool - Tobacco Warehouse
      • Leeds Walkabout 2014 >
        • Leeds 2014 - Kirkstall Abbey
        • Leeds 2014 - Ilkley Moor
    • 2013 Travels >
      • Fenton Town Hall
      • Stoke Minster
      • Beauty and Bursley >
        • The Wedgwood Institute
        • The School of Art
        • Town Hall Tales
        • The Leopard
        • Desolation Boulevard
      • Blackpool - An Alternative View
    • 2011 Travels >
      • Blackpool (Post Apocalypse)
      • Manchester >
        • Manchester - The Trafford Centre
        • Manchester - Tutanchamun
      • Liverpool
    • 2010 Travels >
      • Faschingsdienstag
      • Manchester - Brief Walkabout
      • Manchester/Glasgow
    • 2009 Travels >
      • What Marky did in The Fatherland >
        • Arrival
        • First Munich Walkabout
        • Faschingsdienstag
        • Second Munich Walkabout
        • Dachau
        • Hannover
        • Olympiapark Sealife Centre
        • Olympiapark Olympiaturm
        • BMW Welt
        • Home from Home
        • Würzburg a Mad Manager and a Demon
        • Tutanchamun
        • Back in the UK
        • Neuschwanstein
        • Copenhagen
        • Passau
        • TiPi Fest
        • Potts and The 'Zard Camera 1
        • Potts and The 'Zard Camera 2
        • Pan 'n' Chris
        • Oktoberfest >
          • Shlocktoberfest
          • Fear and Loathing in München
          • When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
        • Blackpool
        • The Flaming Gummi Bär Incident
        • Oberammergau
        • Garmisch
        • Christmas 2009: Christkindlmarkt
        • Christmas 2009: Snow
        • Christmas 2009: Absinthe, Drunkenness and Fireworks
    • 2006 Travels
    • 2005 Travels >
      • Basel
      • Philadelphia >
        • The Krispy Kreme Fiasco
        • King of Prussia
        • Snow
        • Atlantic City
        • Sunset
        • Lancaster County
        • The Philadelphia Cheese Steak Debate
        • Food For Thought
        • More Food for Thought
        • Gideons
        • Dali
        • Culture
        • The Basketball Museum
        • Ocean City NJ
      • Boston >
        • The Cheesecake Factory
        • Copley Plaza
        • Boylston and Boston Common
        • Downtown Boston
        • Charlestown Naval Yard >
          • USS Constitution
          • USS Cassin Young
        • Beacon Hill
        • Call Me Spiderman
        • Providence RI
        • Boston Skyline
        • Final Boston Walkabout
        • The Third Time I Nearly Got arrested
      • Oss
    • 2004 Travels >
      • Basel
      • Philadelphia >
        • First Philadelphia Walkabout Pt I >
          • The Franklin Institute
        • First Philadelphia Walkabout Pt II >
          • The Liberty Bell
          • Monopoly
          • USS Olympia & USS Becuna
    • 2003 Travels >
      • US Tour 2003 - Fri 25th Flying In
      • US Tour 2003 - Sat 26th Brooklyn >
        • The Brooklyn Bridge
      • US Tour 2003 - Sat 26th Baltimore
      • US Tour 2003 - Sun 27th New York
      • US Tour 2003 - Mon 28th Oakland
      • US Tour 2003 - Tues 29th Sacramento
      • US Tour 2003 - Wed 30th The Sierra Nevada
      • US Tour 2003 - Wed 30th Reno
      • US Tour 2003 - Wed 30th Reno (Later)
      • US Tour 2003 - Thurs 31st San Francisco >
        • US Tour 2003 - Thurs 31st SF Walkabout
        • US Tour 2003 - Thurs 31st San Francisco (Later)
      • US Tour 2003 - Fri 1st San Francisco to Lost Angeles >
        • US Tour 2003 - Fri 1st Hollywood Blvd
        • US Tour 2003 - Fri 1st Hollywood Blvd - Walk of Fame
      • US Tour 2003 - Fri 1st Lost Angeles (South Gate)
      • US Tour 2003 - Sat 2nd Costa Mesa & The Beach
      • US Tour 2003 - Sat 2nd LA (Corona)
      • US Tour 2003 - Sun 3rd San Diego
      • US Tour 2003 - Mon 4th Phoenix
      • US Tour 2003 - Tues 5th Phoenix to San Antonio
      • US Tour 2003 - Wed 6th San Antonio
      • US Tour 2003 - Thurs 7th Austin
      • US Tour 2003 - Fri 8th Dallas
      • US Tour 2003 - Sat 9th Oklahoma City
      • US Tour 2003 - Sun 10th Flying Back
      • US Tour 2003 - Epilogue
    • 2002 Travels >
      • US Tour 2002 - Fri 30th
      • US Tour 2002 - Thurs 5th >
        • US Tour 2002 - Thurs 5th Union & Clifton
      • US Tour 2002 - Fri 6th Providence RI
      • US Tour 2002 - Sat 7th Union NJ >
        • US Tour 2002 Sat 7th Asbury Park NJ
        • US Tour 2002 - Sat 7th Asbury Park NJ (Later)
      • US Tour 2002 - Sun 8th Asbury Park NJ
      • US Tour 2002 - Mon 9th Union NJ >
        • US Tour 2002 - Mon 9th Long Island NY
      • US Tour 2002 - Tues 10th >
        • US Tour 2002 - Tues 10th NYC
        • US Tour 2002 - Tuesday 10th ESB
        • US Tour 2002 - Tues 10th NYC II
        • US Tour 2002 - Tues 10th- Manhattan and beyond
      • US Tour 2002 - Wed 11th
  • Music
    • Phuxubtelty Review
  • Movies
    • Skyfall Review
  • Books
    • Ted Simon
    • Charley Boorman & Ewan McGregor
    • Mike Carter
    • Robert Fulton Jr
    • Zoltan Sulkowsky
    • Simon Gandolfi
  • Artworks
    • Diamond Head - Acoustic Cuts
    • The Skeptix - Hate and Fear
    • Demon - Child of the Dark Sky
    • Demon . Better The Devil You Know
    • Demon - Time Has Come
    • Demon - Live at Tiffany's
    • Demon - Live in Germany
    • Demon T-Shirts
    • Mjollnir
  • The 39 Steps
  • New Page

Saturday 7th September 2002 - Asbury Park NJ (Later)

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There ended my first day of HITS USA. I had planned to see (and video) The Krays, but the best laid plans etc. Why? Because, after Resistance 77 went off, I espied Fish weaving around through the Stone Pony. I made a mistake. A mistake for me, that is. I shouted him over. 

The little Piscine-artist was so smashed that he didn’t even know who I was until his eyes finally focused on me, some minutes later. You know how it is. His head was pointed in my direction and his eyes were looking right at me but you could tell they were focused on a spot somewhere in infinity. As he swayed and staggered around a fixed spot on the floor, I spotted two bouncers making directly for him. They were operating a zero tolerance policy and anyone who was not in full control or even looking the wrong way at someone else was picked up, carried to an exit and unceremoniously dumped on the sidewalk. I grabbed hold of him and assured them I would take care of him and took him to the artists’ only area for a sit down. It was about 11P.M.

I got him to the backstage seating where it was fairly quiet. He was too drunk to sit down, believe it or not. He could stand, or he could fall over. He announced he was going to be sick. I placed him in a chair and went to find something he could throw up into. When I turned around again he had fallen out of his chair and was sat on the ground. I pulled him up and sat him down again and, placing a bucket in front of him, told him, that if he felt the urge, to throw up in it. He declared that he would be fine and promptly threw up all over his own feet.

I pointed to the bucket and told him I thought he’d be better off chucking his guts into that, but he complained that it smelled. Over the next 30 minutes or so, he alternated between throwing up into the bucket, this time via the sleeves of his sweatshirt, which was tied around his waist, and falling into an alcohol-induced coma.

Eventually, he came around long enough to inform me that he wasn’t drunk, just tired and that he was going to go back to the hotel for a lie down.


Picture
I didn’t want to be a babysitter. I wanted to see The Krays but I couldn’t let my little buddy go back to the hotel on his own. He would never have made it, for so many reasons. Whether it was the gangs of blacks going around beating people up, junkies looking to score the price of a fix, or the fact that he would have fallen over (or asleep) before he ever got there, that is assuming he had either been able to make it the distance or known which way to go. No, he would have ended up floating in the sea, under the boardwalk or atop a pile of used white boys in Ghetto town. I had to see him back safely, or I would never have forgiven myself, never mind his welfare. I didn’t want my holiday ruined because some asshole had got drunk and couldn’t look after himself! And I thought I’d left my kids at home. I felt like the token grown-up at the kids’ party. 

Anyway, I went to find Gash. I needed some help - Ush and Chig would be no help. There was talk of roaming gangs of blacks driving around, chasing white punks around town. Fish, could barely walk, if we did get fronted by someone, anyone, I’d need some backup, someone who could handle themselves, to give me time to throw Fish to them, to save my own skin.

We got back to the hotel, to find a riot in progress. Police and Fire Depts were in attendance. Cops were running around like blue-arsed flies with nightsticks. I had Fish pinned to the wall with my forearm. He complained that I was oppressing him. I said I was stopping him from falling flat on his face. He said I was oppressing him. I removed my arm and watched him slide down the wall. I picked him up again and replaced my arm. He didn’t mention the oppression again.
  
Gash found some Addicts fans with a bowler hat. We had been looking for that particular piece of headgear so that Fish could do his Stan Laurel impersonation. So, Gash placed the aforementioned on Fish’s head and told him to do the impersonation. Now ask yourself, how wasted would a body have to be to then perform a Hitler impersonation? I rest my case.

We stood by the lifts, waiting for them to come but they never did. We decided to walk up seven flights of stairs. WHY? Because we listened to someone who was pissed, that’s why. The stairwells were running with water from fire hoses, not because there had been a fire but because people had been turning them on in the hallways. One of the flights of stairs was soaked in piss and on one of the landings, someone had taken a dump. I guess that’s anarchy in practice for you. We eventually got to the 7th floor and Gash took Fish and put him to bed. He then went back to the Stone Pony. I decided that another walk up seven flights of stairs tonight would kill me or cause my knees to implode so I checked out the TV.

The Bottle of Jameson’s

Picture
Sometime later, there was an almighty racket as someone banged on my door. Demanding that I open up and let them interview me for Punkrocknight.com. I opened the door to find the delightful Sarah, clutching a huge, almost empty, bottle of Jack Daniels, Ethan, a Maine punk, and Greg Brenner, clutching a most welcome bottle of Jameson’s Whiskey.

Now, I shall not go into all the detail of happened next, except for to say that Sarah, was both fighting drunk and falling down drunk, at the same time. Ethan was an angry young punk, from Maine, and you do not mess with the Maine punks. Sarah was less than taken with this young fellow, whose only reason for being there was that he had earlier on, been seen with Sarah’s friend, Bonnie Blue. Confused? You will be.

So, there we are. Greg and myself are sat in between the two beds drinking Jameson’s over ice, trying to ignore WWIII, which has broken out just above us. Sarah is stalking around the room and Ethan, a Maine punk, with whom you do not mess, is denying that Bonnie Blue gave him a blowjob under the Boardwalk, or anywhere else, for that matter. Sarah, now threatening violence but merely stumbling around the room and falling over and onto things is getting louder and louder, as is the privilege of the drunk, with most of her invective directed at the Maine punk, with whom, don’t forget, you do not mess.

Ush and Chig, with whom I was sharing the room, had not yet returned from HITS. It was sometime after 2AM.

Suddenly the door opened. Chig walked in. He saw Greg, Sarah and Ethan and concluded that this was not his room and walked straight back out to check the room number against his key. I discovered later that they had heard the commotion from our room and realised that somebody was having a party. Arriving at our door they concluded that it was coming from our [their] room. For some reason, this surprised them. They had me down as some nice, sensible, quiet, person who would be tucked up in bed when they got back. I have no idea where they got that notion from. That’s not me at all.

Greg

Picture
Greg Brenner
Anyway, Chig and Ush eventually came in and took up residence, sitting on the other bed. I must confess that they did have rather bemused expressions on their faces. Somewhere along the line, Sarah, stomping around the room in her mad drunkenness, tripped over something, the floor probably, and fell face first onto Greg. I managed to save our drinks but the ice bucket went flying, as did an ashtray. Regaining her feet, the lovely Sarah, fell over once moor, this time landing, eventually on top of Chig. The smile on his face was soon wiped off, literally, as the gallon bottle of JD that she was holding smacked him upside the head and emptied into his bed. In an attempt to make up for crowning Chig with the bottle, Sarah, now sat astride the prone drummer, began to apologise furiously. 

Now, Chig, it has to be said, was not quite as injured as he made out and undoubtedly, the proximity of the female form to his nether regions was not unwelcome, even if they were both fully-clothed. The smile returned to his face. That was when the door opened again.

Gash, entered the room, looked around at the devastation in the room and did a double take at Chig. Sarah had by this time relaxed and was lying, asleep, on top of Chig, still clutching the now empty bottle of Jack. “Allo. What’s going on here then?” inquired Gash. Sarah, roused from her cataplexy, shouted, “I’m interviewing him!”

Gash, looked, smiled and very drily said, “I like your technique. Do me next.” 

The next hour or so everyone became more noisy but less coherent. Gash left, we presumed because he’d taken a dislike to Ethan, the Maine punk, with whom you do not mess, to spare the youngsters intestines a visit to the sea air. Usher spent most of his time trying to stop Sarah from beating the shit out of Ethan, Maine punk, yadda, yadda, yadda. Sarah was by now unable to stand at all. Every time she stood, she immediately fell into the first thing she met, be it animal, vegetable, mineral, or Maine punk. Those bumps were going to hurt the next day. 

I convinced Ethan to leave. He was concerned about his main man Poe, who had last been seen in the vicinity of the beach with some little strumpet, and I was trying to save some of the room from complete destruction by Hurricane Sarah. It seemed that my cunning plan had worked because Ethan buggered off in search of his friend. (I wondered later whether it was either he, or his friend, who would turn out to be the punk stabbed in the throat and dumped in the sea.)

By and by, Greg and I finished the Jameson’s and Sarah became more docile and Greg elected to try and get Sarah back to the room, assuming that the 5th floor still existed, that is.

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