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Velvet Revolver - Evening Nazi Arena Manchester 16th Jan 2005

Picture
Setlist: Sucker Train Blues / Do It for the Kids / Headspace / Superhuman / Crackerman / Illegal I / Fall to Pieces / Big Machine / It’s So Easy / Sex Type Thing / Set Me Free // Used to Love Her / No More No More /// Mr. Brownstone / Slither



Item: MEN Arena

Ooh, I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate that hotbed of fascist control-freakery. Wait a minute; I have done, on several previous occasions. I’m not going to go there again; it just gets my blood all angried up, and I’m at that age when it’s just not good for me to get so worked up about something that isn’t going to change without the aid of a big gun.

Item: No pictures.

New camera; bigger and bulkier and impossible to smuggle past the jackbooted thugs on the door. ‘Nuff said.
Item: I’m not a great lover of arena gigs.

Manchester Academy is a good venue, granted, but Manchester crowds are not the friendliest ones on the planet and the MEN seems to attract all the assholes within travelling distance. For VR, there were some real shitheads present. Can someone please explain to me why anyone would pay £30 for a ticket and then get so smashed, before the band comes on, that they can’t even stand up?! Was I absent the day that the logic of that exercise was explained? I guess I must have been. Nevertheless, there was a plentiful sufficiency of these brain trust candidates in evidence in the building on the 16 th Jan.
Item: The band was late.

7 PM it said on the ticket. The Datsuns came on stage on time and played well. They are not a remarkable band, but they acquitted themselves ably and were well appreciated by the [predominantly] young audience. They are a workmanlike bunch of youngsters and played a solid set. They are a bit like a young Quireboys; they’ll never set the planet on fire, but they could be a good long-term bet and they’ll always put on a good gig.

Velvet Revolver kept us waiting until 9:45 before they graced us with their presence. Bear in mind we had been standing around in this godawful barn for three hours by this point.
Item: I was really looking forward to this gig.

The reason I start this item off with that caveat is that both me and firstborn were really looking forward to this gig. We had missed the last VR appearance at the [far superior] Apollo and were really chuffed to get tickets for this show. Moreover, we had both purchased the Contraband CD independently, me in the UK, her in the USA; both copies are practically bald, they’ve been played so much. It is probably the best first release by a band that I’ve heard since Appetite for Destruction melted my turntable all those years ago.

I freely admit that I wasn’t impressed at having to wait until 9:45. At 10PM I would have walked out.
Item: I’ve been to the VR Fan Forum to see what others thought.

I have. I’ve deliberately left the review until now, so that I can benefit from a rose-tinted recollection.

During the gig, immediately after, and even now, my memories and views on this gig were, and are, so clear to me, that I doubted my own eyes and ears. I visited the Fan Forum on the VR website to see if anyone shared my thoughts and, as no-one else seems to, I figure that I must have been whisked into a parallel dimension between 21:45 and 23:15 on January 16 th 2005.

You see, I thought that the gig was terrible.
Item: Snot Wetland.

OK. Where do I start?

There are two aspects to my grave dislike of Wetland’s performance and the resulting, intense disappointment.

Firstly, I found his Kamp Nazi persona very unappealing. He ponced around the stage like the Red Dwarf cat being shagged by Mick Jagger and, even without the frock, he would still have out-camped a hybrid of Lily Savage, Danny LaRue and Eddie Izzard. I was completely confused by what image he was trying to portray; he looked so camp, yet I don’t really see VR being a big strain on the pink pound, neither could I see his performance turning many women on either.

Secondly, he was trashed. His vocal was mostly inaudible, and when you could hear him, he was tuneless, flat, or singing through a goddamned megaphone. I would estimate that he sang through the bullhorn 90% of the time, which, quite frankly, just became bloody annoying. A gimmick is best when it’s used sparingly and Wetland’s reliance on the megaphone became tiresome by about the third or fourth song he sang through it. I couldn’t understand this because on the CD his voice sounds so good. I don’t go to a live show to hear the CD, but I don’t want to find out that he can’t sing without the aid of a recording studio either. His best vocal of the night was, ironically enough, on the G’n’R tunes, which he still sang flat, at best.
Item: “The light show looked like they’d taken it from a whorehouse.”

I heard someone near to me say something along these lines. Duh, you moronic retard! That’s the point! This is Velvet Revolver – the rock ‘n’ roll equivalent of a two dollar hooker. If you’ve ever been down Sunset Boulevard it makes sense. Hell, if you’ve ever been in some parts of Manchester it makes sense! Jeez, The Mancunian Candidate would take about 5 seconds to brainwash.

My only complaint about the lights was a little too much use of the strobe. I’m not epileptic but it did get on my wick after a while; too much for too long.
Item: The rest of the band rocked like bastards!

I cannot say too many good things about Slash, Dave Kushner, Duff and Matt Sorum. They were superb and I just don’t feel that Wetland is made of the same quality. In fact, had it not been for Duff’s excellent backing vocal, the singy bits would have been a complete washout.

Matt Sorum is not the best technical drummer in the business, but he hits ‘em hard and lays down one hell of a beat. Solid as a rock.

Dave Kushner’s rhythm playing is fearsome. This guy was pumped and on fire. Whatever he’s on, give some of it to the man front and centre of the stage.

What can you say about Slash? He just is the man and has nothing to prove to anyone.

For me, Duff was the star of the show. He saved the vocals, played some rocking bass lines and looked so fresh and alive. I can’t believe he looks so well, after all those years of excess that is ;-)
Item: What about the next tour?

So, would I go and see The Velves again? Yes, I would. I really wanted to enjoy the show and I didn’t; it was spoiled by Wetland’s total crapness. I have replayed it back in my mind and it still comes down to the fact that Wetland was shite.

A lot of people have said on the band’s website message board how great the gig was. I’m glad that they enjoyed it. The only thing I can come up with is that they were not too objective. I have been to more gigs over the years than I can count and I writing reviews for about ten years, and the number of bad reviews I have written is less than the number of fingers I have. I’m totally gutted to give this band a bad write-up, but I’m just telling it the way it was. I can’t say what others heard, I just know that I don’t have cloth ears and I can be objective enough to know when not everyone on the stage is giving their all. I want to say that the sound system was no good, or that I was so close to the stage that the sound went over my head, but it wasn’t, I wasn’t and it didn’t.

And, if you think I’m wrong about Wetland, was I imagining that he sang the vocal different to the CD and didn’t attempt any of the high notes?
Item: What about the CD?

I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to listen to Contraband with the same enthusiasm after the gig. I needn’t have. It is still a wonderful recording and, if anything, listening to it made me even more angry. It is so good that I’m still searching for a reason why the singer was so bad on the night.


Mark L. Potts 
The God of Thunder


4th February 2005
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